


Drain Away

by Myka



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-27
Updated: 2005-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-05 12:33:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/406436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myka/pseuds/Myka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus clings to lost things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drain Away

He wanted to let go. He wanted to let go so much that sometimes it was all he could think about. Yet something refused to change. That last thing was missing for him to be able to let go. So he still held on, to the past, to the memories, to things that were long gone and dead.

He knew this was truer when he fell asleep and dreamt. 

They say dreams are the windows to a person’s soul. So what happens when you dream of dead people? The people you loved but are no longer with you. 

Remus Lupin most often dreams of when he was sixteen, and happy. When he wasn’t alone, and shared his life with friends. People he loves; people who love him. 

He dreams of what it was. Running down the halls, running away from getting caught by Filch or McGonagall. Running free under the full moon. James’ confident grin, Peter’s insecurity, and Sirius’ infectious laugh.

He dreams of what might have been. Dinner nights full of warm memories of schoolboy years, Harry taking his first steps. Mischief and pranks even after years of having outgrown them.

Nightmares.

A burned down house. Sirius’s screaming face on the Prophet’s cover. Words. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Years later. Harry screams and struggles. “He’s not dead!” 

He’s wrong. The veil doesn’t flap anymore. Sirius is gone. 

Remus opens his eyes. He finds a strange sad comfort in such dreams. In the end they are what he wishes for. To cling to such memories, to the people he holds most dear. The ones that are no longer here. James, Lily, and Sirius.

Sirius…

Even with the promise of change, and moving on. Even with the promise of someone new. 

He wishes to be sixteen again.

He hopes, and dreams, and holds on. 

And he knows.

Someday he’ll be reunited with them once more.


End file.
